Men and Women = different

In the first edition of Never Iron When You Are Naked, I wrote a page about some perceived differences between men and women.

Writing this page prompted a soul search. I wanted to offer a perspective of how to understand people, rather than dividing by sex, or even ignoring gender. I stepped back, contemplated, and wrote these words.

So far, no one has objected.

To confirm, there IS a difference between men and women. I am not addressing sexuality, sexual preference, chosen gender, or anything to raise controversy. What I have experienced has been enlightening.

For several years, after I have presented my session No! No! Yes, and… to events, women in the audience would ask me if I could present this to women. My response was always “I’m an old(er) white guy, how can I help women?”. I was told that generally, women struggle with negotiation, and need people who are experts to teach them. I was also told that the fresh perspective and commonsense tips I offered to help with negotiating were especially helpful.

And one of my women friends tells me that women have a difficult time saying No. For whatever reason, at the wrong or right time, under the appropriate circumstances, women struggle with saying No. I do understand that this could be a generational difference – potentially, more younger women are in a different position than their older peers, and in their circumstances, they do say No more often. My friend offered that my Negotiating session was sorely needed, and even women who say No more often will benefit from my perspective.

I do understand that men also have negotiating issues, but when systemic misogyny still means a car salesperson won’t speaking directly to a woman if there is a man with her, women are challenged in far more ways than can be counted.

I know I bring fresh perspectives and unexpected tips to No! No! Yes, and….
I endeavor that this session is a safe place and an experience that empowers women to step up to their power.

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Trevor Perry