We are human
It’s difficult when people talk about you or to you in a derogatory way. Such words can severely affect our own self-esteem. We humans want to be loved, or at least liked, by other humans. This can become destructive when it becomes the primary focus of your life.
The negativity might come from someone close to you, maybe a parent or a sibling. Or, from someone who is in a social circle to which you belong, in person or online. Or, a random stranger commenting on your online activity. No matter where it comes from, it’s difficult to establish the right walls to prevent our insecurities from being poked. This hurtful action can cause our self-esteem to be permanently damaged if it is repeated behavior.
The standard way of addressing this issue has been to seek help from psychologists or psychiatrists to work us through our insecurities. And certainly, there are few people who can work through this on their own, without help.
What if we tried some UNperspective on this situation? Maybe with a different viewpoint, we might be able to block the effect of such nastiness?
For the most part, the reason people attempt to belittle other people stems from their own feelings of insecurity. The bullying is a sign that they feel inferior to you, and this triggers such an awful and negative reaction.
They NEED you!
In order to make themselves feel better, their choice is to ensure that other people are in a lower place than themselves. To do that, they must use the bullying tool of down-talking about those other people. If other people appear to be less in their own mind, that elevates them in their own mind to a place that allows them to feel superior.
They are not superior, but it is important for them to feel that way. Generally, these kinds of bullies do not understand equality, or consideration for your fellow human, or even a simple thing such as kindness.
Of course, there are people who are normally kind and generous, but finding themselves in a social group can sometimes apply a kind of pressure that changes their behavior. In most situations, their insecurities are under control, but something triggers them in the place you share.
Think about it this way – you being in their lives is making them feel better with themselves!
Knowing that it is their insecurities being poked by something you are doing – if, of course, your own behavior is not bullying – own who you are. Be true to yourself, and never doubt you or your intentions. They are being attacked and those words can and often do hurt. The source is someone else’s insecurities – you have plenty and don’t need someone else’s to exacerbate your own.
The result will be your own confidence level will remain high, potentially infuriating the bully. Remember, they are looking for a reaction to their words, and when it does not come, they’ll eventually find you are no longer a viable target.
In the meantime, pat yourself on the back for providing an avenue for the bully to feel better about themselves!